Guitarist and Vocalist needed for successful Divorce band
Join a thriving divorce covers band today !!!!. We are King Krust. We are an established and mega successful covers band , who give people a good time , delivered with a naughty smile that offends no one at any time . King Krust will always leave the audience wanting another one . We bring out the best in 70s , 80s ,90s music and beyond . We love butchering peoples favorite tunes time and again , we put on a show and play the songs in the keys of our choice, a cracking stage presence overrides our short comings.
At the moment we are looking for keen world class players to join our successful outfit
At present we are a bass guitarist , drummer and rhythm guitarist with no rhythm but plenty of feel and sometimes that's got him in trouble at various venues.
If you'd like to join a fun band with a strong work ethic and a even stronger drink ethic , read on.
We need a Guitarist
Who must play everything at anytime . You will need to flirt with the audience you will need to be a combination of Alex Turner , Eddie Van Halen Joe Satriani , Noel Gallagher and Dave the busker . You must offend no one at no time and be able to play every single thing I mumble at you whether that be in the rehearsal studio or during a performance. . You will need to have a cool but inoffensive Instagram account and professionally mastered sound files . That meet my high approval ratings you must have your own transportation own gear and a 100 effects pedals.
You will need a BS Hons in Electrical Expertise in order to be considered for the role .
We are an easy going bunch of 40 something Narcissists . If you are an easy going and adaptable team player you'll fit right in .
We also need a Singer
You must own your own PA you must have a ten octave range and know how to get a audience worked +up . But hey !! Leave the risky or offensive jokes until the latter stages of the after show hospitality. When no one has the energy to reach for their phone . You will need to make me and the drummer a cup of tea at any point on request during rehearsals.
If you have the charisma of Fredy Mercury and Lilly Allen with the vocal conviction of Van Morrison and Aretha Franklin at the same party . This could be for you
During your performance you will not at anytime offend any individual or group at any time what so ever.
You must be a bit of a cheeky chappie or loud lady . Or both as we are open to all .
You will also need to have a clean driving licence with no points . In addition to this we only accept applicants who have a HGV licence as well and can pick me and the drummer up from the pub as and when required .
Our minimum requirements are that you must be charismatic , sociable and willing to down shots and drink a pint after every song while delivering first class vocal performances' . I expect you to move an audience but never to the exit door . Make them laugh make them sing but never make them leave.
During our demanding set list you will sing like a troper but never at any point swear like one as you might offend someone .
Our Exciting and Demanding Set List includes
Wonder wall : By Oasis
Hotel California : By The Eagles
We Will Rock You By Queen .
Plus
Any song by Taylor Swift
Send me all your sound files
Audition by video only
No egos or dramas . As that job is taken by me .
Looking for someone who's not out for money . This is a nothing for money band .
We do it for the love of it and I deal with all of the finances and the bucks stop with me .
You must also commit to weekly rehearsals and a teams meeting every hour of the day
If you fulfill all of our requirements you'll have the exciting opportunity of earning nothing . But the approval of King Krust.
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